Check out our new Feelingway Courses site!

To celebrate the grand opening, all courses are now on sale.

Coming Out Of Story

As we develop the skill of moving out of identification with the main character in our movie, the main character in the mind's story of who we are, we discover that we are so much more than we thought we were!

We have believed that who we are is the 'I' in the story of our lives. "My name is.... I was born in... I have so many brothers and so many sisters. My childhood was... Now I work as a..., etc." Another part of our story is what we have been taught to believe about ourselves, things like... "I am smart," "I am lazy," "I am not safe," "I am too sensitive," "I am generous," "I am unlovable," etc.

We spend years (in fact, most of our lives) practicing our story and making it convincing. Without awareness that this is just something in my mind that I've been telling myself, this story of who I am becomes very compelling. I try to identify as the hero, and yet all too often I am the victim of something or someone.

All too often we are fragments or some version of a separate self in a story that is much bigger than us. The story is the cause, and we are the effect. Yet all of this is only a story held in the mind. It is only who we think we are, it is not who we truly are...

If we decide to come out of this mind-made identity, what happens? If I'm not what I've been believing about myself, then who am I really? There's been a sense of security in staying with the old story-dependent identity. It's been comfortable because it's been familiar, even if limiting and full of suffering. Other people have been used to us acting in certain familiar ways and they've responded back in certain familiar ways.

If I no longer believe that who I am is the main character in my old story, and especially if I no longer believe that I am a victim, then I can begin to feel into some truly exciting new possibilities. How do I want my world to be instead of how it's been? Perhaps a different reality would be better, one full of real love? Or perhaps a reality where I am empowered to make my world one that feels good to live in?

When we stop believing the story we've been telling ourselves about who we are, we begin to move into the unknown, and this can be quite scary. Going from the old and familiar to the new and unknown can trigger fear and often involves a sense of disorientation. "I don't know who I am or what is real," is a sign that we're on the right track toward the emergence of our true self.

The move toward truth and reality can feel frightening to the mind, yet okay once we accept this sense of not knowing, and simply being. The mind can be reassured by our acceptance of its fear. Rather than continue being used by the conditioning in the mind, we can now begin to use the mind to help us manifest an empowered and loving reality for ourselves.

In the space that opens as we let go of old limiting identities, we easily and effortlessly draw in real love for ourselves, just as we are.

Love is beyond the mind and conditioning, it has to be felt to be fully understood. It cannot be known or appreciated through thinking alone.

Each time we come out of story, and as we move more and more into being the Healer, we open a wider and wider channel of love for ourselves and all of our parts. As we move out of the old identity of being a fragment, we open into feeling the truth of our wholeness, well beyond the mind and its thoughts about reality. We can now say, "I am the Healer, present in love, and opening space for even more love."

As with learning anything new, practice builds the skill. We learn to create a new story as we learn to identify more and more as the Healer of ourselves. We become the hero who channels real, unconditional loving acceptance for all our parts. And in doing this we also learn patience and acceptance for our learning process as we go through the four stages of learning to develop the new skill of coming out of story.

Here are two clues to realizing when you are identified in an old story: 1) If you're doing a lot of thinking, you are probably listening to a story in your mind. 2) If you're feeling, and the feeling is feeling 'bad,' it's probably part of an old story you're still believing to be true.

However, when you move into Observer/Field Position to see and sense what's going on, and engage the lovingness of the Healer's mind, you can begin to channel unconditional loving acceptance to the 'bad' feeling. You are then engaging your world with love. Bottom line: If it feels loving, whatever you are doing is on the right track!

Steps for Coming Out of Story:

1. Notice that whatever is happening doesn't feel good to you.

2. Realize that you have been thinking thoughts that are part of a story about what has been going on, and you were believing that the thoughts and the story are true.

3. Go into Observer Position relative to the thoughts and old story; and tell yourself a different kind of story, one that includes the truth of the Healer, "The universe is good and is operating correctly at all times."

4. Change the story to include the fact that whatever wasn't feeling good was a way for lost parts/feelings to get your attention so they could be healed. You are now identified as the Healer, and as the Healer of yourself you can use opportunities like this new awareness of the story you just came out of to find and heal lost parts of yourself.

5. Now find the feeling associated with the old conditioned thoughts and locate the energy of the feeling in your body. This includes any fearful feeling about no longer being the person you had thought yourself to be.

6. Bring your loving awareness to the sensations of the energy of the feeling in your body, and feel into it with love and compassion, integrating it fully into yourself as your own life force energy.

7. If there is any difficulty in directly loving and integrating the energy of the feeling just as it is, you can use the Deep Practice or any of the other Healer's tools that seem appropriate (Judgment Release, Regression, Parts Work, etc.) to complete the healing of the feelings in the parts of yourself that were triggered by the story.

8. If the triggered feelings were generated by a story about the future, be sure to turn around now and drive backwards, as discussed on page 66 of the Healers Guide.