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Perceptual Positions

There are three basic positions from which we perceive reality. We unconsciously move among these positions from time to time. However, it can be very helpful in the healing process to become aware of our perceptual position in the moment, and to be able to consciously change it.

The three perceptual positions are:

       1. Self         2. Other
            3. Observer

SELF: In the first position we are associated in our own body, looking out through our own eyes. Looking down, we see our feet. We can hear sounds and feel bodily sensations and emotions.

OTHER: In second position we are also associated, but in the body of the other person. We are looking out through the eyes of the other, hearing the sounds they are hearing, and feeling some of their sensations and emotions.

OBSERVER: In third position we are disassociated. We can see, but not hear or feel. In observer position we are able to observe both Self and Other and see the patterns of their relating.

Each of us usually feels more comfortable in one of these positions, and sometimes we can get "stuck" there. Being able to consciously move among the perceptual positions gives us more information about a given situation and much greater flexibility of point of view.

Perceptual Positions Exercise

The purpose of this exercise is to develop the ability to move easily between Self, Observer, and Other positions, while experiencing well-sorted perceptions. This typically results in clear boundaries, respect for self and others, greater resourcefulness, more choices, and more wisdom and understanding.

You can do exercise alone, or if working with another you can read the following instructions to your partner. In either case, pause each time you see "(Pause)" so that the inner task is completed before going on.

1. Identify a situation of difficulty involving yourself and one other person, in which you would like to be more resourceful. Choose a situation that is mildly or moderately intense for the first time you do this process."

2. Replay that situation in your mind....Notice how you perceive and respond to the situation now, before anything is changed."
(Pause)

3. Now go into First Position, 'Self 'in this situation. Be there in your own body, looking out through your own eyes. When you look down you can see your feet, when you look up you can see the other person over there. (Pause) Feel the air on your skin, and any other bodily sensations. (Pause) And feel your emotions of this time. (Pause until you feel complete here.)

4. Next, move into Third Position, 'Observer.' Here you can see both people, yourself on one side and the other person on the other side. (Pause) In this position you can see the patterns of the relating between the two and observe how they are responding to each other. (Pause until you feel complete here.)

5. Now go into Second Position, 'Other.' Be in the body of the other person, looking out through their eyes. When you look down, you can see their feet. When you look up through the other's eyes, you can see yourself over there. (Pause) As the other person, feel the air on your skin and any other bodily sensations that are available. (Pause) And feel their emotions. Feel what the other is feeling in relating with you. (Pause until you feel complete here.)

6. Return to Observer position and notice again the patterns of the relating between the two people. (Pause)

7. Now return to Self position and once again feel yourself fully back in your own body, looking out through your own eyes and feeling your own feelings. (Pause until you feel completely back in your own body.)

8. Coming back to the present, notice what you learned about this situation in moving through the different positions. Write down any notes you may have. Or if working with another, find out what they experienced.

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